Why I make my kids give back

Every year since I could remember, I would let the my children pick out a Sharing Tree tag that we would fill as a family. It was one of our traditions I wanted to do during the holiday season, to instill in my children the real reason for Christmas.

Over  4 years ago, I lost 1/2 my income when my ex exited out of my life, leaving me with all the debt and bills.

It was a devastating time for me, only a few months before Christmas. Not only did I have to try to figure out how to pay the monthly bills and keep a roof over my children’s heads, how was I ever going to provide them a Christmas? I couldn’t.

A local community charity reached out to me, asking me if I wanted my family to be “adopted” via the Sharing Tree program. I was also asked by members of my church, what we wanted for Christmas and that they too wanted to “adopt” us for Christmas after they heard from another person of our recent struggles.

A few months later, we had a we a wonderful Christmas.

Since then I continued to get excited when the Sharing Trees at our church goes up and I decided each of us, the children and I, will each have our own Sharing Tree tag to fill. I told my daughters to pick a tag for a child who is the same age or close to their age so they can relate and get excited to pick out the gift. Oh, and that they had to pay for their gift with their own allowance money to truly make it come from them.

We have done this for the past 3 years and the girls enjoy picking out their tag, gift, and wrapping it.

So once again, two weeks ago, the Sharing Trees went up and we went over BEFORE church started so we could pick our tags before other people started to take some. We each picked out our tags. I chose a young mom and both girls chose a child their age. That weekend, we purchased their gifts and wrapped them. We got everything on their list! 😀

Then a few days ago, I was at church with my youngest and noticed there were lingering tags and I became sadden because these children and adults may not have one Christmas gift to open. My heart sank thinking of these children who’s parents may be going through something just as we did 4 short years prior.

I looked them over and grabbed another tag when my daughter asked, “Why are you getting another one? We each did one.”

I asked her if she could remember the first Christmas when it was just the 3 of us, and asked her if she remembered not having presents. She answered no. Then I told her how WE were once on these same trees and generous people out there gave us a wonderful Christmas (that I’m beyond grateful, even to this day) to where my children didn’t notice a change from years past.

“That’s why mom is grabbing another tag.” (I grabbed two, actually – A little girl and little boy.)

She looked over the tags and said, “I’ll do another,” and picked a girl near her age who wanted boots.

My children will learn to give and understand the reason for giving and the importance of it. After what I went through, I am a firm believer of paying it forward, sending good vibes and kindness out into the world that seems filled with selfishness and backstabbing to get ahead.

It’s easy to look around and see people be grumpy, rude, or filled with greed. It’s easy to see ungratefully kids demand the latest toys not understanding the costs of what they are asking for. It’s easy to see people, hands filled with shopping bags, walk past the charities who are standing in front of stores without giving even a smile let alone a few dollars.

My children will be none of those. My children will give, they will learn to true reason for holiday season and guess what….it’s not them. They will be reminded we were helped by generous people who GAVE to us and it’s our duty to GIVE BACK to those who need it as well.

 

Capsule wardrobe challenge

I consider myself thrifty, frugal, money saving machine. I love saving money and scoring a great deal! Oh how happy I do get! 🙂

I rarely buy clothes at full retail. I hit the thrift shops, Facebook market place, garage sales, shop sales – and coupon it whenever I can. But being that way, finding deals on clothes and then shortly later not staying happy with them is actually costing me money that I thought I was saving. Ugh!

I have become unhappy with my wardrobe AND it upsets me, since to me, it feels like a HUGE wasted of money.

And the sad part is back in February I pulled everything out of the closet, went through it – donated a bunch. What I kept, I organized it by type of clothes (short sleeves, long sleeves, sleeveless, pants, skirts, dresses). I was happy when I was done and my other half was happy I was happy – plus I was able to give him one part of the closet just for him. hee hee 🙂

But then, slowly I purchase something here that caught my eye,  scored a great deal there, and now I’m to the point of a full closet with nothing to wear. It’s truly upsetting to me where I get all worked up (aka frustrated) about trying to create my outfit before my day really got started.

What I want:

1. To have a wardrobe I can create an outfit that I will wear again and not stare at a full closet of clothes I don’t want to wear for 15 minutes or can’t wear certain pieces because I can’t pair them up together. <– Super frustrating!

2. I want to learn basic tailoring skills so that if I find something I love at a great deal, I can tailor it if needed so that the fit is great, ensuring I’ll wear it long-time.

3. I still want to find pieces for a great bargain but not purchasing the piece JUST because it’s a great bargain, but the fact that I really like it and am excited to wear it.

4. I want some sort of style. Right now I have a bunch of everything thrown into my closet and it makes me feel like a mess, which also creates problems trying to create outfits of out mismatched styles. Ugh.

5. I don’t want a closet that is bulging when I know I have like 4 loads of laundry to wash downstairs. I want to have a neat organized closet that gives me options but not too many to where it’s overwhelming. Also talk about spending more money to wash all those clothes. >:P

6. I want to purchase pieces that is environmentally friendly – natural materials, etc. Another reason I rather find many pieces at thrift stores (to re-use and possibly up-cycle). Let’s face it, research has proven – the average American throws away 82 pounds of textile waste a year. And when clothing taking on average 40 years to decompose and shoes! – HOLY CRAP – they take 1,000 years to decompose, our poor children are going to be suffering with our waste for a long time! And I won’t get started on all the water consumption and CO2 created in making these clothes we’re tossing out every year. (Sorry, I get passionate about recycling, reusing, saving the Earth and got a little off track.)  So…… if I can be one person to keep to do my part in trying to keep unnecessary waste out of the landfills, maybe someone else can be inspired to do the same by having less clothes to begin with, donating what we don’t want to someone else, and recycling by buying gently used clothes or up-cycling clothes that would be have been tossed into the landfill.

How am I going to get all this?

After doing some research, reading a ton of different blogs of people who have actually done/doing this or have a minimalist closet, I am very inspired to jump into this challenge. I think following the capsule wardrobe will get me to the goal, achieving what I wanted, listed above.

What is a capsule wardrobe?

According to this Washington Post article (here), the capsule wardrobe has been a concept since the 1970’s, which is the idea that to save time and money though buying quality classic pieces that can be used in array of different outfits. Some have certain rules as to how many pieces to have in the closet (ex: 37 items), some stick to neutral clothes with maybe one accent color, some have seasonal capsules where as others just have one capsule (depending on where you live, etc). Also having less clothes, wearing the pieces mores is also better for the environment.

My capsule wardrobe thoughts:

I kind of started this idea on my own last year when I started buying black/white/grey clothes. I was at a stressful job with a 30-minute commute (which I never had before). When I got up in the morning, I didn’t want to think about what to wear. I knew things would go together if I stuck to those color choices. Boring  but effective.

But like I said, as time passed, I slowly added different colored pieces, patterns, textures into my wardrobe. I’m at the point again, having a full closet and feeling I have nothing to wear.

UGH!

I know since I live in Michigan, I will have to follow a seasonal capsule wardrobe, and that’s okay.

Also I am not sure I will be very strict with all the rules of a capsule wardrobe like having only 37 pieces, BUT I will follow some of the  rules that will give me the result I want AND give me joy in how my closet and wardrobe is.

My current plan of action:

1. I have found a very awesome worksheet thing ( the website to get your own) where it gets you to think about what you own, what works for you, etc. I am excited to start filling it out and going through my closet.

2. Next I will make a list of what I have, what my color palette will be for the current season capsule (I might change them with the seasons since certain colors are associated with a season – aka: orange & fall), then I will see were gaps are by having lists and a game plan. (I heart lists and plans!) 🙂

3. After that is where the work begins of making sure what I put back into my closet meets the goals I listed in the beginning of what I wanted to achieve.

4. Step back, evaluate what I have done, set up a date to check back in (a few weeks thereafter) to see if any tweaks need to be made for the current season capsule and to the upcoming season. 🙂

Now the Capsule wardrobe challenge!

I am challenging myself and you to minimize your clothes in your closet(s) and dresser(s) but using some/all of the ideas behind the capsule wardrobe. Maybe you will try to stick to more neutral colors, or maybe you will try to limit the number of shirts you have. You can’t wear 100 shirts in 3-week period, can you?  Maybe you will get rid of some clothes you know you haven’t worn in over a year. Maybe you will not buy any new clothes for a season. Whatever works for you. 🙂

We’ll check back to see our progress.

 

 

Even the best have their struggles

I have lived on a budget ever since I jumped on the Dave Ramsey bandwagon years ago.  Whenever I pay bills or get paid, I pull out my Excel spreadsheet and start checking bills off. Check, check, check. 😀

But there are times like today were I’m struggling to stay on the bandwagon. I have been “blue” for a couple of weeks and this past weekend, the shade of blue has become a “royal” blue shade. I as sit here and write, I am having the urge to go out and do a little retail therapy.

If you follow Dave Ramsey’s bandwagon, retail therapy is a huge no-no. What I would be buying is NOT a NEED but a WANT….to fill in the void I am feeling. Rational me knows that whatever I buy, no matter how much I buy, that void will still be there and then it will be accompanied with guilt from wasting money on things I don’t need nor had the money for. I know I don’t have the money for because I budgeted my money, I told my money where to go, and the stores I want therapy from is not on that budget.

Let me tell you, the force is strong with this one (retail therapy urge)!!

Uh oh! What now?

Lunch came and it reared up it’s ugly head! Instead of going to the gym, my head screamed, ‘To the store!!!!”

I read a few months ago when I started to go to the gym – Never miss the Monday workout – start the work week right. If a person didn’t do their first workout on Monday, the chances it would be pushed off again the next day increased.

I didn’t want that so I headed to the gym on my lunch. Victory! I didn’t cave into the retail therapy urge. But the end of the work day is creeping up and the voice in my head grows louder and louder.

Even with my accounting background, getting geeked up about budgets and spreadsheets, even I struggle at times with spending. I’m not perfect nor have will power of steel. I stumble at times.

How am I going to deal with this struggle?

A few options:

1. Go home after work and try to keep my mind busy at home. I may overeat, trying to fill the void that triggered the retail therapy urge.
2. Allow myself $5-$10 to spend and see if that satisfies the urge. Sometimes withholding with an iron fist makes things worse. Maybe I’ll cruise over the Goodwill and find a shirt or two that fit that allowance.
3. Go home and write in my journal, trying to figure out my I’m so down lately, been so blue. Maybe getting it on paper will help the void. Or maybe I’ll go home and talk to a friend about what I’m feeling.

Do I know which option I am doing? Not yet and probably won’t until I’m walking out the office door.

Wish me luck!